When it rains
The nature celebrates
And so do I
In my own special way
With a book in my hand
To lose myself in
Sweet, sweet fantasy
Contained in numbered pages
So cozy in my bed
Cuddling under the blankets
My window wide open and welcoming
Such beautiful, wonderful weather
When the air seems fresh
The breeze, teasing
Cool droplets clinging to everything
That lies under the open sky
And to make this moment perfect
As I sit in my paradise
I have with me
A cup of tea…
With a dash of whiskey!
It just feels as if life is going under
Like you are stuck on a sinking boat
All alone in the endless ocean
Only problems stretching far and wide
Just misery to keep you company
No, you won’t die.
You are not in the middle of a tsunami
You are not in the middle of a hurricane
You are not in the middle of an earthquake
You are not caught in a war
It just feels like the world is going to end
But no, it is going to be fine.
The sky feels like it’s going to crash any moment
The weight of the world lies heavy on your shoulders
It never allows you to get too far
It’s sad, I know, but life has its moments
It’s fine. It’s not that big of a mess
You’ll get thorough it; you’ll be fine.
You don’t have a life threatening disease
You don’t have broken body parts
You are not blind, deaf or dumb
Nor are you someone without a heart
You are not going to die
It is going to be fine.
There are always people in this world
With more troubles, more problems than you have
No, I don’t want to shame you, or make you feel bad
Your problems are your own, as are your troubles
So don’t undermine them, or label them trivial
They are a trial to deal with, for they are your own
But it’ll never change that you are going to be fine.
You may think you are useless
You may think you don’t work enough
You may think you don’t take things very far
That whatever you do wouldn’t make a difference
You may think you aren’t worth it
You cannot get it all right
You think you cannot deal with this
You think it is too hard
You think it’s going to swallow you whole
Maybe even rip you completely apart
It’s out of your reach, whatever it is that you need
But it isn’t as you think; it’s going to be fine.
You aren’t perfect, you can’t achieve it all
You are nothing but a human
Flaws adorn you, making you who you are
Don’t be in such a hurry; breathe, and live your life
Don’t even think to apologise
Because you are perfect, whoever you are.
Perhaps, today you can’t look at the world
Without tears forming in your eyes
Perhaps, tomorrow, days from now
You’ll be able to smile bright and shine
The world won’t end without notice
You, you have all the time you need.
One day, you’ll look back at the problems
The problems seem larger than life, veiling all your joy
And think how could they have been so big!
That they blinded all the little things
Little things that are most important
Little things that bring you joy
So trust me, it will be fine.
When you are on the sinking boat alone
In the midst of the ocean of problems
Try not to panic, the boat won’t sink
You won’t drown even if you can’t swim
Just know, as I know, when you get past it
You’ll sprout wings and fly…
Vote, comment, share! Always appreciated 🙂
Wish I could’ve put loving on hiatus
Then I could think, but not overthink
As I’m wont to do when in love
But detached I could see unbiased
If we were meant to be
If yes, maybe I could know
What’s stoping us from being together
And work, work, and work
To correct the faults and cracks
That alas, are keeping us apart
Really though, I could use a break
A break from love
‘Cause some days, it eats me
That I haven’t figured out
The art of approaching love
The science of togetherness
And it drives me mad
Why one person can mean so much
That you wait all the time for them
And you pray, even though you don’t believe
For them to come to you
Of course I want you to be happy
But the way that you’re happy
Makes me unhappy
So I implore you to be
Just a tiny bit considerate
It’ll be selfish of me to voice this out
So I’ll just think it
It’ll be my little, private thing
Hidden in the safe confines of my mind
After many years of loving him, she discovered that she was not even sure her desire was real, and that her longing for the person himself had become a habit she could not break.
Because after such a long time, the memories of the past had taken a dream like quality, and the details she cherished so much, became more and more unreal.
I once met this boy
A calm, assuring yet arrogant angel
He drew me close and gave me joy
And then, too late, one day
I realised he was the Devil
And that I couldn’t walk away
I couldn’t help but inch closer
Still, for a while, everything seemed well
Time seemed to go slower and slower
Until, he opened his true eyes and bid me goodbye
And then gave me away to the fires of hell
Even falling, I just couldn’t help but cry
It hurt! Was it the misplaced trust, his betrayal?
Or that to love me, he was unable…
I want this, and I want it bad
Not for you to bleed, but me to plead
It’s not courage that I lack
But the promise of reward
Sometimes in life
You feel so blue
Like the world doesn’t love
And nor do you
The dead are not gone
But they live on
For when they lived,
They inspired, they affected
And thus left an imprint
So, even as they depart
They do exist
They dwell in our hearts
And live in our memories
The dead are living
For they have those who still admire
Those who still cherish
And will remember them
Forever.
I liked what it was
I loved what it could have been
What I didn’t like
Was what it should be
But what it isn’t
And would never be
I don’t remember when we stopped caring about each other. I just know it’s been long enough for you to say goodbye.
As I get older
My heart grows colder
If only I were bolder
Not just a beholder
To new beginnings
And old friends
To the people who left
And the people yet to come
To the little child
Who you once were
To the thunderstorms
That kept you awake
To rainy days
When you once played
To the books
Yet to be read
To the life
You’ve left to live
To the many things
Yet to come
To the beginnings
As to the ends.
My demons lie within me
Waiting to be found
Hidden, for unseen
They grow unbound.
.
My demons emerge
When I am insecure
Always ready to defend
A disease without cure.
.
My demons rule me,
As do their malicious intents
My conscience wrecks me
As my guilt torments.
.
My demons know me
As I wallow in misery
Loved for they are mine
They keep me company.
.
My demons plague me,
In day as they do at night
Conquerors of my mind,
Masters of my fate.
For the Harry Potter fans out there, just wonder if you had a time turner!
.
Sometimes I really wish time had a rewind button.
All those regrets…
Things I could have done and things I shouldn’t have but did.
The chances missed.
Bitter words said that I never meant.
All those words left unsaid.
The things I gave up on halfway.
If only I had a little more patience, a little more time.
So much could have changed, if I had only…
But the truth is there is no guarantee that life would indeed be better. With time things change and so do people.
Perhaps it is good that you can’t control time- it’s better not to mess with an entity older than the universe itself.
Perhaps you wouldn’t even recognize your own self turning back time.
Yet I can’t help but wish for time to wait for me to catch up, for a part of me is still living in the past and I am not ready to move on.
I think I’ll never be ready.
It’s going to be fine,
Or so I keep telling myself;
I lie to myself.
There lies this land, out of reach
With many a happy memory,
With boundless happiness hard to breach,
And joy so full of melody.
,
This land, I never did visit
It knows not pain or sorrow
Where sadness, spite nor despair do exist,
And people look towards tomorrow.
.
A land full of love and peace,
That there lies no damning desperation
Free of inner demons haunting on their release
With no frustrations, no aspersions and no self-destruction.
.
Yet this land is just my illusion,
My abode against devastation.
Hey guys, I’m pleased to announce that my collection can now be found on Wattpad, for those of you who prefer to read there. Or if you can, pop your head there sometime and leave me some feedback in form of votes and comments!
I’d love it if you’d give my little collection a try!
Here’s the Link to it: https://www.wattpad.com/story/179894308-a-piece-of-my-heart-poetry-and-more
Falling in love is a process. So is falling out of it.
This collection of mine has been written slowly over the years.
It contains not only poems, but little tidbits, snippets from my diary, musings, and philosophies of what love is and of how love is bittersweet; love is not all roses and rainbows that media makes it to be.
It explores the other side of love, one that is filled with heartbreak,hope and longing for something you’ll never have.
When the soul weeps, the heart speaks… 
And these words are the fruit of my heart’s blood.
I hope what I write touches your hearts, burrows in and stays for life.
I’m in love with the way your voice embraces my name.
It was the first time I realised I was in love, when you called out to me out of the blue.
Drop by my Wattpad —> https://my.w.tt/oquNn8TqCV
Loving you is being stuck in a never ending loop that just might turn into a spiral. With every turn, I start to take interest, like you, get a tad obsessed, love you, get really obsessed, miss the hell out of you, get high talking to you and love you truly madly deeply. Then we drift apart.
You stop replying, stop talking and when we do talk, all we do is fight. Then you ignore me, I get depressed. Eventually though, I ignore you too. As the days pass by, I decide you aren’t worth it and finally let go. There even comes a time that I am happy for you, wherever and with whomever you are.
Then one day, with no warning, it starts over again. And before I know it, I’m awaiting your texts again.
I’m not who I used to be though. A little more cautious, a little more hesitant. Even more afraid than I used to be, for I now know what heartbreak feels like.
But I’ll never forget. The first time I feel in love with you was the best and the worst time of my life. And I don’t know how many times I will fall in love with you during my lifetime. You were always my constant. You are my Sun. Scorching hot but it’s in your shadow that I truly shine.
Also, if anyone is on Wattpad, check this out —> https://my.w.tt/zrEJ3NlqCV
23.03.19
I really thought that I saw him. He was a tourist, walking with a girl I knew wasn’t his girlfriend. It’s expected, for I live in a touristy place that beckons youth. That’s all. He stood right in front of the supermarket I was planning to go to, leaving it no doubt. And I wondered, if I hadn’t taken the detour, would we have met?
He stood on the other side of the road, and my brain did a dance. Oh my god, did I just see him? Did he recognise me? I couldn’t help stare at him, or rather at his side profile. He looked at me. I should stop staring. Was that him? Really him? I prayed for him to come a bit closer. Probably made the poor guy uncomfortable because my eyes wouldn’t leave him. He seemed to be in a hurry, and the girl pulled his sleeve. The only thing I remember about her is that she was pretty. And quite tall. Came to his eye level, and he once told me he was six foot and this guy looked it. The face, his figure, oh my god! My heart was beating so enthusiastically that it wanted to jump right out of my chest. Calm down, I kept telling myself futilely.
While I waited for the road to clear on my side, he walked away. In that fleeting moment, I saw the entirety of his face and all I could notice was that the shape of his mouth seemed off. It wasn’t him. God, it wasn’t him. I hadn’t seen him for years and now my eyes had been playing tricks on me.
But believe it or not, the resemblance was uncanny. It was almost him. But then, it wasn’t him. Or maybe it was him, but I’ll never know for sure. Because as suddenly as I saw him, he walked away, never to be found. He left me, full of disappointment as he left me with relief. And also with uncertainty disguised as hope.
I wondered whether it would have made a difference anyways. It’s not as if we’re on speaking terms. I wonder which is worse: meeting him and not speaking, or not meeting him at all.
If you told me that I’ll stop loving you one day, probably, I would have laughed at you. But today, the universe mocks me. I never understood how potent time could be, and how distance isn’t measured only with miles. Even though I knew dripping water can erode rocks given time. Even if I was reluctant to believe how people who were so close, could become so far part. As they say: the older you grow, the wiser. But what they do not say, is that the journey to become wiser is fraught with pain.
The truth why unrequited love does not last is that while embers can start a fire, it takes more than just embers to keep a fire burning. And I am wont to admit that I’ve run out of kindling. It is a consumable commodity, and time… Time flies and memories fade. You become more and more unsure if the emotions you felt were as intense as they seem to be or was it all just a mirage. Time moulds the past into dreams.
It bereaves me to have lost this love, because trust me, I have lost a huge chunk of myself with it. My love for a long time defined who I was; on the other hand, coping with its loss and rediscovering myself will define who I will be.
I’ve finally let go and it is perhaps one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made. However, entropy moves only in one direction— towards chaos. So, I’m more bereft than I bargained to be. Within me, there is more chaos than there was at the beginning.
The older I grow, the farther I see, and the more I doubt this path I have woven. I ask myself, do choices sculpt who you are or do you make the choices? Is it choices that really matter, or the cascade of events that follow each one? How much of your life is actually under your control? There are more questions than there are answers.
So, this New Year, I wish to be at inner peace. And also, to set my soul at ease.
Long time, no see. It’s New Year Eve and here’s the last post for the year 😉
I wish it was another whim
But God! I really love him
This secret, I entrust to you
So long, I kept it hidden from view
Perhaps, he is my personal totem
But I cannot love him out in open
He loves another, you see
Perhaps this is the way things may be
Even in the future, but I’ll be the same
Loving him, still hidden in shame
I am not ashamed, not really
I feel really sad, but never silly
Rather, I should say, he is precious
It has nothing to do with how he dresses
Nor his face, the manner of his speech
He has always been out of my reach
If he were any different, I’d be proud to say
Still, I would love him the same way
If I could, I’ll stay by him all day and night
And hug him, whenever I can, with all my might
I want to give him all he could ever desire
To watch, as his eyes light up with fire
What all he feels, I want to feel
All his cracks, this way, I want to heal
It’s strange, this wish, to hide him away
To keep him safe from harm’s way
This desire to cherish, to spoil him rotten
To give him joy that I’ve forgotten
As days turned to years, I still yearned
The flame in my heart, brighter it burned
Perhaps, soon all that is left of me would be ashes
But I know he will be even better as time passes
I know I am rather plain, and undeserving
But my love will always be unswerving
So, I wish him happiness, all the stars above
They say you should let go of the one you love
I am afraid my presence would be a rife
So I want not to interfere in his life
When I think of him, I always envision him smile
It hurts me to think along any other line
It is selfish of me, but him I really do miss
So, God, would you grant me this little wish?
All his life, would you have him smile?
And think of me, every once in a while…
I am sorry, I should say
I am sorry for running away
For not taking your hand
When you extended it
For saying no and being so scared
I wish I had more courage
To be myself around you
I wish I hadn’t fidgeted so much
Or looked away
When your eyes met mine
Our gazes always seemed to meet
So uncannily, as if it were meant to be
I wish I had the courage
To look right at you
To look right through you
Through all your pretences
Beyond all social niceties
Just to meet your gaze and smile
Instead of shying away
Being so embarrassed
Feeling so guilty
As if I were committing a crime
I wish I had the courage
To let those words leave my lips
Words I ached to speak
Words that hurt so much
The words that held the longing
Both my heaven and hell
All that I kept suppressed
If I had the courage
To talk to you without restraint
As if that were true!
But if it were
I am sure I would have talked
For hours without end
Hoping, always hoping
That you wouldn’t be bored
That you would be hung on my every word
As I am on yours
I wish I had the courage
To overwhelm the fear I held
That you would leave me by myself
And then I would be all alone
Or worse, you would so it
After I get a taste of how we could be
I would wallow in sorrow
I am sure
I don’t think I could recover
From that blow
Or watch your retreating back
I am sure you are the most addictive
Imperfectly perfect
Loved for your flaws
The person I want to be with
Above all others
The person I do cherish
Above all others
The person whom I would be strongly ecstatic
To be belonging to
The person whom I want to be mine
As if humans were chattel!
Such a silly person I am
Yet, I wish to be yours
Somehow, that is what keeps
Driving me forward
Pushing me forth
Even though I have yet to
Have the courage to even
Meet your damned gaze!
I wish I could know you
Truly, and not just in my dreams
Outside my dreams
Outside all that I wish for
And all that happens in
That fictional world in my mind
Where we have lived many lives
And all of them together
If only it were as simple
To meet your gaze
See you smile at me
Resonate that profound emotion
And be yours, only yours
Forever.
Before, between us was peace, laughter and the feeling of belonging. Now, there are only miles separating us. And even in the unlikely situation where we stand next to each other, neck to neck, there would still be miles between us.
Love Poems 